will i ever...

will i ever find a way
to pursue this
will i ever find a way
to stop deteriorating into
the person that i am
that you'd avoid
i think i chased you away
with candy and cigarettes
while trying to interest you
in tissue that doesn't function,
a breeze is just a breeze
until it hits you and it's warm

will i ever find a way
to relive this
and will i ever find away
to chase away these ghost
that i've never gotten rid of
no matter how hard i tried
but you can't forget a face
no matter how much you hate it
if it always keeps you up at night
like merlot and coffee
and sometimes it turns you
in different ways