stagnant

i turn, i try, i run
you say i’m not out of control
but i disagree
i say, i speak, i tell
the truth to everyone but myself
i’m over-protected
can you realize that?
the end is just the beginning
i believe this is our chance
i can't run again
i won’t leave you
i see you
can you see me too?

the scars we have are memories
they teach us what we've done
i won't forget to not-not remember
they’ve gone from me
all i want is you
the past is close
our future is here
if we wait til tomorrow,
she will never appear

you can use me
the fact that i love you
i want you to
i can’t tell you that
not yet, not now, not here
we’re conducive to one another
we can’t help that fear
you seal the gaps, the holes, the void
now it’ll never be stagnant
and i won’t run again
i’ll never leave you
i love you
can you love me too?

i’ve never been here before
not by my own choice i've found
you can hear me singing
with nothing but my voice around
but if we wait til tomorrow,
will you disappear?

shattered

it’s raining again – isn’t it always
strange how rain does something to me
something different – it fills me up
completes me in ways you never could see
to think i loved something so misgiving
trust is something earned and respected
i gave it to you like an award that you won
tossed out like second place - rejected
i’m the one and only lonely drifter
waking up everyday without my self-regard
and everything else i thought to strong to break
shattered pieces left so you could see me scarred
i found religion in so many of adam's words
something soothing, something cold and sad
something to remind me how much i enjoyed
months of letting you copulate with my head
it’s easy remembering you as my favorite sin
it was you who was left alone in the end
i can remember you looking at me with a grin
it was you who was left alone and broken in

will i ever...

will i ever find a way
to pursue this
will i ever find a way
to stop deteriorating into
the person that i am
that you'd avoid
i think i chased you away
with candy and cigarettes
while trying to interest you
in tissue that doesn't function,
a breeze is just a breeze
until it hits you and it's warm

will i ever find a way
to relive this
and will i ever find away
to chase away these ghost
that i've never gotten rid of
no matter how hard i tried
but you can't forget a face
no matter how much you hate it
if it always keeps you up at night
like merlot and coffee
and sometimes it turns you
in different ways

we are the sky

an almost ghostly moan
behind your tender breath
passionate and inviting
your mouth open in suspense
eyes closed waiting for my touch
finger tips brush the sweat across my back
nails biting the skin it crosses
as our stomachs move as one
your legs tightly around my hips
exhaling to each motion
my lips wet against your neck
never leaving your skin
moving to your mouth
deeply kissing as we move together
you whisper 'i love you'
i stare into your eyes, a sea of emeralds
your breath warm on my face
slowly gripping my hair
pulling me closer
we are the ocean
back arched, anticipating
we are the sky
your body trembles beneath me
we are everything between

prodigy

it happened again i'm alone
while the other watches
happiness in one hand
a new child in the other
calling me to let me know
asking me if i still feel alone
god i hate myself for not lying
but she could always read my voice
here i am writing another song
all about them, all about me
when they knock me off my throne
i never seem to be able to look up
but i guess that's the price
a broken heart for broken pride
i never thought i'd be that easy
i never thought i'd be this hard
how i wish this was the last one
i'll never write anything about them
never again, never ever again, no
but i can't stop the next one
i already know how much it'll hurt
i hate to say it but i already miss it

all by ear

i've got to rush away
i'm holding on to something here
you told me you loved me
does that mean i can hurt you
it's all i've ever known
my eyes have grown weak
i can't keep looking for the future
it's just so much quieter here

i say let's just play it all by ear
new york is still warm this time of year

just because no one's around
doesn't mean i'm all alone
i'm just thinkin bout why i cried
maybe i felt the same way yesterday
somehow i think you've known
you just couldn't reach out that far
or i was just too proud to reach back
but i've always wanted you here

and i say lets just play it all by ear
new york is still warm this time of year

everything changes
don't let go but don't hold back
everything changes
i'm so scared but i don't care
i hope we can play it all by ear
new york is still warm this time of year

serene

can i call you now?
are you waiting by the phone?
you know i want to
but are you alone?
i need to know - are you still there?
it's cold in here tonight
like that feeling of way too much...
too much of something i can't give up
what can i tell you?
i know that feeling all to well now
you are
so gentle, so cloy, so mean
you're so serene
but you hold that against me
because you know you can
rigid but flexible you move me
and i'll let you
do it again if you want too
i could bend without breaking
and no evidence that i did
if you asked me too
i could smile
but you hold that against me